Jack Of All Trades
Truthfully speaking, I am a lazy ass and even having to write this down, it took me days to finish it because I can really lose my mood in an instant. And no I am not obese. I may have a boooooooooring lifestyle but.....well, I do get to follow the trends anyway.
So the title is Jack of All Trades (I know you read it). It means a master of none (and yes I know you already know what it means but it's for 'other' people). I am so good at this. You have played Sims right? When you create a character, you choose your zodiac then the aspiration. I always choose Jack of All Trades. Seriously, this game becomes easy then since your Sim can do almost everything pretty good. But this actually contradicts what the aspiration implies. The SIM can be an expert at something. If I were to stand before the creator of Sims I'd have him edit that part of the aspiration and have him make it off limits on the expert level. But of course no one would choose that type then, right?
So let's cut this butt-in issue out. I am the best JOAT there is. I may not know a lot of things but I have the wisdom. Because knowledge and wisdom are two different things. Knowledge is knowing or having details about a certain thing especially its existence and wisdom is knowing how to do things and how it works. And yes I get to know how things work because I watch other people do it. When I watch them I absorb them. I try to learn by observing and when I get to that place, I do what I have seen them doing. That's how I am. I know how to do it but I don't research about it.
I love anime. I love it so much I dream of being a great artist and making my own manga. I even thought of creating an anime, have ABS buy it and show it then I'll be swimming in $$$. But I only said dreamed and thought of it. So I actually started tracing anything that is anime. I kept tracing and tracing until I get to memorize them that I didn't need to trace. Now I know where I should drag my pencil. But that's all I could do. I could draw. I draw good, but not great. Same with playing the piano. I'm a fast learner. I don't need to read the keys. Just let me watch you play. Let me see the keys you're pressing. Do it a few times then later you'll see me playing, but I can't read the notes. The same thing goes with the guitar. Then my mom asked me to reverse the car because my brother didn't use it and our neighbor had to park her car. So I watched 'How to Reverse your Car Tutorial on Youtube twice. Yes I did manage to reverse it but only a little because I love Toyang (since she's a Toyota) and I don't want to bump her ass on the wall. I still asked my neighbor's son who was 16 yrs old (4 yrs younger than me) to do it. Damn he gets a better life ahead of him just because of that. Then I was a dancer in a performing arts club in high school. We went through a lot and we were climbing the top. But high school had to end and college had to come. I thought it would be fun because of all the organizations they introduced during the orientation but NOOOOO. Those orgs were just for show. They were actually inactive. Except for the dance org but then the instructors were students and the students were....hmmm I'll put it this way. I wanted to drag them till they emblazed (Miss, you are so mean). Oops! I mean they are too harsh! They turned it into a boot camp that I feel sorry for the lower years. And so I stopped resulting to not climbing to the top anymore.
So yes I'm a fast learner. I'm talented and creative. But those are just adjectives. They only describe me. Sometimes I blame money. Because to be an expert you have to spend to learn it. Yeah you can do self-study. But who wants to study alone (I certainly wanna have a cute guy learning with me). Actually it's M-O-N-E-Y. Damn it.
Overlapping Misdeeds
When I was in high school. Everyone treated me like I was 'Ms. Popularity'. I wasn't all that good-looking sweetheart. There were only a few of us in school which allows us to really get to know everyone who attended that school. So I was popular because I was pretty both inside and out. And I never thought that the thing that I was giving was the very thing that had eaten me.
I was in love with a guy for years! And the jealousy was devouring my 'good' heart. Groups have been created within the class and people talk behind other peoples' backs. All because of that deadly sin. But I wasn't purely evil. I knew how to say sorry. I still knew how to be kind. And at one point, I stopped. And I thought it would be over then. Jealousy left and I got what I've wanted. But I realized I wasn't happy with him. So I left only to realize that I let go of someone who really mattered and that it was all too late. After confirming that there really was no way of getting what I had, everything became dark. Victims have fallen into my grudge, and they clung onto me poorly. Yet I easily let go of them. Many had come to hate me, for the 'bitch' I was. The queen who had played with hearts and would even step on her best friend just so she can have it her way. Yes, I was the 'ice queen', the 'evil witch', the 'slut'. And I lost friends. But I noticed that not all had left me. They still loved me no matter how big my flaws. They stayed. And who were they? They were everyone. Everyone still accepted me. They may have held a grudge against me, but they try to shove it off and place it aside. They tried to be the family they are to me. And they hurt me most for they were the closest and I too hurt them more than most of it.
I have come to realize all of this, now that I am a college graduate. Now that I am starting to work. I see now. Why being awake at midnight is not really a helpful time but the most reminiscing hour. Emotions tend to overcome me. I get to remember who I was before and I have come to understand why I am like this right now. Why I hate Valentines so much. Why I hate seeing couples doodling with each other. Why I hate hearing the word 'love'.
And now when I am in most need of it. It will not come find me. It will not come near. For I am blinded by pride. For I am held back by standards. For I am threatened by my own feelings. What if the same thing will happen? Just like when I was in high school...
Karma Fudge Off!
Karma really knows where to hit you. And the moment it bites you, damn I get so frustrated and stressed out even though I know that there's nothing to worry about especially if you still have to do it tomorrow.
My brother and I went to church at 6PM. There were a lot of people as usual since the Phils. is such a religious country. I don't know why but I know I should have listened yet I preferred to wander my mind off to lover's lane. I am really regretting not listening to God while he was talking to me.
I talked to my mom a little later after we arrived home and at first she was asking us how we were doing. I was planning not to go to PNA tomorrow since the house was such a mess and I wanted to do some general cleaning. But my mom said that I should hurry up and go there and that my dad will get angry. That's the first stress; that they want me to HURRY up. I'm just beginning. I'm just entering the WORK LIFE and they want me to HURRY UP! It just pisses me off! I'm not a robot or Ms. Perfect. I have to touch things and look at them for a long time so I can get used to them and they want me to do it the fast way. Second, I told my mom I was going to commute to PNA but noooo. She was too worried about me that something might happen to me and that my brother should drop me their. The 2nd stress: My brother needs to go to work in a far far place called McKinley or whatever it is. And I need to learn how to get there. So my mother and brother argued then my mom decided that I should just take my Red Cross training at City Hall which is closer. Third, I know Pedro Gil and PGH but I don't know if it's Taft already or what. I can take the bus and then go to Taft but I wouldn't know if it's already Taft because I rarely go there. It's not in my area and that's the 3rd stress. But I thought of an idea. Why don't I just call PNA tomorrow and ask them about it? I don't have to go there then. But there was this mail thingy where you can just send an e-mail to them so I sent one. The problem is, which is stress 4: I couldn't access my e-add because yahoo is crashing and loads so freaking slow! And I even asked my trustworthy friend to help but we failed miserably. Oh no I FAILED again xD It seems that I am getting good at this. Somehow I started having this feeling that I wanted to cry but then I realized, cry about what?! It would be too childish so I just prayed and said sorry for not listening and that I was sorry for acting like what I did towards my mom and that I should remain cheerful and optimistic like my classmate, Lee. And after that, I felt better than ever!
Thank you Lord for making me a strong woman....well physically and spiritually haha! And now I have nothing to worry and I have learned my lesson. I shall not imagine while I am in church. Bow!
Farewell 2010
I don't know what to say about 2010. Actually I didn't want to remember those numbers. I wanted to leave it all behind. Though there were also a lot of things that happened. I'm sad to say that I barely remember all those good things. Probably because it has been overlapped by all of the worst things that have ever occurred to me. And to this day, seeing my friends and how their doing just makes it hard for me to move on.
The last year of college was the most memorable yet the most distressing segment of my life. I was stupid and I admit that I never was the emotional type. I consider myself selfish and would only have to satisfy myself. Frankly speaking, I wasn't content with the company of my section and that there are a chosen few whom I am comfortable with. H3 is what I would call my place of zen. As long as I was within this group, I felt safe. We may even had a lot of conflicts but we always sticked together not because we literally were stuck with one another but because we loved it just the way it is. And this is one of the fabulous entity that I have treasured well.
Actually, 2010 is the most depressing year for me. I despised it. Or rather, I despised myself. Everything about me was bemoaning. Because 2010 was the year of my FAILURE.
I didn't concentrate on my studies due to the detestable atmosphere of my boring and vexing school. I blame myself after all these years that I could have stopped and walked another path. I just hated almost everything about it. Not all, but almost. I couldn't find what I was looking for yet I continued to struggle through my chosen college field.
When I was in high school I imagined that college would be thrilling and efficacious. I should have known better. But then I was raised in a world where innocence is accepted and safe rather than being smart and witty because seriously we didn't need it in my place. What we needed was pure escapade. Yes with no need for permission. I even dreamed of joining a volleyball team and be a varsity. Just like those players I watch on TV. What always caught my eye was UST. But unfortunately I didn't pass the entrance exam so I had to end up in FEU, my 2nd choice. And yes I took up nursing, another 2nd choice of mine. I even planned on joining the theater or performing arts club or even the glee club. I was so enthusiastic.
So I arrived college and was so excited that I prepared everyday to impress my classmates. I tried so hard everyday that I would even review during the holidays. I was excited, charged and inspired. I even applied for the "interesting" clubs but being damned, I think, they just took our 20php as membership fee. After paying they never contacted us again. And as years passed by I realized that there were no clubs actively existing at all. What an ass stake was that. I was so disappointed. Furthermore, to continue maiming me our section had to be dissolved! As in separated from one another like siblings being sent to different orphanages individually! I hated it so much not because I'd be detached from my close friends but from my one and only inspiration! And yes it had a great impact on me. Us friends grew apart slowly and whenever we get to see each other all we could do was say hi and bye. After that, things turned to get ugly. I was losing the enthusiasm I had within me. I was lonely, and very lonely.
So it went on till I got away from that school up until I took my first board exam. Yes I stayed like that. And what did it bring me? Nothing but depression itself. I failed and continued to fail myself and everyone who believed in me. I under-appreciated myself.
But you know what? It's a good thing though. It became an eye-opener for me. Experience really is the golden teacher. And because of it I became closer to the one Gold that I had my entire life yet I refused to acknowledge Him because I didn't believe enough.
These FAILURES brought me closer to God. And everyday I would find myself talking to him before I sleep and sometimes as I wake up. I pray to Him and thank Him for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me even a little one i.e. When I thought I misplaced the ring my Mom gave me it was just under those pile of review books. I got scared and little by little I felt sensitive to feelings. I wasn't "manhid" anymore. I was aware of what the consequences will bring me. But what made it incomplete was, I didn't feel the spirit of Christmas or the welcoming of New Year. For I had to go abroad, where I didn't know a lot of people and where fireworks weren't allowed. It felt like ordinary holidays. It made me unsafe and unprotected. Like I was not blessed with a good luck charm. The year thus became incomplete for me. I tell you, being in the country where I am right now isn't peaceful. It's depressing.
So my 2010. I call it "The Year of Faith in Failure".
One Word Only
You are: Lazy Yes or no: Put an x to everything tht is true: you are naturally; Answer these questions: Spell your name with your favourite movies: N-AKED GUN G-REMLINS E-RAGON L-EGION favourite tv show? Ellen
You like: Chocolates
What do you like the most about earth: Nature
Name one friend you would eat for 1,000,000$: Pein
Would you kill a dog for 1 million dollars: Pugs
Live with your parents? yes
own YOUR car: no
Have more than 100$ in your wallet? no
Seen someone get killed\or die infront of you: no
Been raped? NO
have siblings? yes
Have you ever…
[] Fantisised about your teacher?
[x] Wanted to kill someone?
[x] Stuck your gum under a table
[x] told a friend that you were doing something else with your family, even though you had already promised them to do something with them?
[x] said i love you, and actually felt it
[x] called someone a slut
[x] been called a slut
[] faked to be handicap juss to be in those handicap parkings?
[] Blonde
[] Brunette
[] red head
[x] Other-black head? haha black-haired
What should you be doing right now? SLEEPING
Where would you want to be right now? OMAN
What’s your goal in life? MONEY $$$
would you like to be a taxi driver? NO
Have you ever spent a whole day on the search of the perfect bumper sticker for your friend? NO
Worst memory of school? SORRY CEREMONY
Who’s your worst enemy? MYSELF
Whats your worst fear? DISEASES
ever laughed so hard that you peed? YES
Have you ever ate and then puked it out on purpose? YES
ever been so drunk that you felt numb? YES!
Ever cut yourself? YES
Had gossip written about you on the bathroom wall? NOPE
Do you like yourself? NOOAAHYEAHHH
Are you conceited? I THINK
Do you like men, or women? M.E.N.
Has anybody ever thought you were a homo? MAYBE
Are you a homo? NO
are you single? YES
if not, Are you married? NO
Are you secretly in love? NO
Do you have a diary? YES
Have you ever stayed in the shower for more than 1 hour? YES
Do you sing in the shower? YES
Two Facebook Accounts? YES
Do you own a laptop? YES
do you own a camera? YES
been to facebooknotes.net? YES
How’s the weather? BREEZY
What season are we? ALWAYSSUMMER
What would you like to be later on in life? RICH
Had pornstar ever came to your mind? O.o
What sign are you? ARIES
Are you gay-phobic? NO
What’s your pet peeve? (something you cant stand?) FLIRTS
If you have to pee and there’s only a sani-vac will you hold it in until home? YES
Do you wear braces? NO
Do you wear glasses? NO
Favourite song? BILLIONAIRE
Song stuck in your head? (not the same song) THE WRITER
Last book you read? SASSY GIRL
Favourite disney princess: MULAN
A-VATAR
name me your two bestfriends? Mary,Teng
Have you every used any sex toy? No
are you a virgin? Yes
Are you religious? Yes
How old are you? 20
are you a man? No
if so, have you hit puberty yet? Yes
Do you moan in the shower like in those Herbal Essence commercials? Sometimes
Ever fallen asleep in the shower? No
Ever took a piss in the shower? Yes
Girl Confessions
1. What is your name?
-Angel
2. Do you enjoy drama?
-No it totally sucks
3. Are you a girly girl?:
-Sometimes
4. Who was the last person you hugged?
-My mom
5. Small or large purses?
-Large
6. Are you short?
-Y.E.S.
7. Do you like somebody?
-A little yes.
8. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
-I'd pluck that someone's eyeballs
9. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
-Yes I really really do
10. Do you dress up on Halloween?
-If you're talking about with prize money then definitely
11. Are you double jointed?
-Am I what?
12. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
-The bathroom
13. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
-Yes
15. Do you call anybody by their last name?
-A lot of anybodies
16. How many guys will read this just because it says “Girl Confessions”?
-Anyone curious about me
“X” Marks the Spot:
[x] I do wear make up
[ ] I have cried at a movie theater.
[x] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[ ] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I like death/grind/black metal.
[ ] I like rap.
[ ] I like country
[x] I carry a purse.
[x] I’d be lost without my computer.
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I own a boy band CD.
[x] I get bored watching football.
[ ] I’ve never been called a spoiled brat.
[x] Guys are confusing.
[ ] I’ve been called a bad influence.
[ ] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.
17. What color is your bra that your wearing?
-Right now? braless
18. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?:
-Dark. I think it's sexy
19. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
-2 weeks ago but not now
20. Do you have a best friend(s)?
-Yes, countable
21. Have you ever had your heart broken?
-yeaaaahhh
22. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
-Nope
23. Do you like your life?
-Not for now
24. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
-I don't think I had a decent bf that anyone would care
25. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
-Yes...well pushed actually
26. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
-Girls
27. How long have you had Facebook?
-3 yrs haha
28. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
-Once
29. What are your biggest fears?
Illness
30. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes, tantrums if you ask me
31. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
-YES
32. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a
cheater”?
-Nah
33. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
-Yeh
34. Do you ever wish you were famous?
-Nooo
35. Are you currently missing someone?
-N.O.
This guy or that guy?
-Which guy?
Punk/Goth or Gangster?:
-NONE!
Preppy or Cowboy?
-WTF?!
Face or Body?
-Both
Sweet or Sexy?
-Sexeh
Well-educated or Dropout?
-Duh, educated
Armani or Abercrombie?
The F is this?
City-slicker or Rural Guy?
-City
Blue, Green, Grey, or Brown eyes?
Green >:)
Contacts or Glasses?
Both
More Questions.
36. Eyeliner or Mascara?
Eyeliner
37. Louis Vuitton or Dooney & Bourke?
-Louis
38. Pumps or flats?
-Pumps
39. Skirts or pants?
-pants
40. Socks or leggings?
Leggings
41. Hoodies or jackets?
-Hoodies
42. Heels or sneakers?
-Heels
43. Straight or curly hair?
Straight
44. Hoop or dangling earrings?
Dangling
45. White or black?
White
46. Victoria’s Secret or Bath and Body Works?
Victoria
47. Smoothies or lattes?
Smoothies
48. Diet or regular sodas?
Regular
49. Water or daiquiris?
Daiquiris
50. Pearls or diamonds?
Diamonds
51. Vintage or boho?
Vintage
52. Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen?
Ashley Olsen
53. Lindsay or Hilary?
-Lindsay
54. Ipod or cell phone?
-Ipod
55. Friends or family?
Family
56. Lip gloss or lip stick?
Lipstick
57. Manicure or pedicure?
Manicure
58. Tiffany’s or Chanel?
Chanel
59. Love or peace?
Peace
60. Sunglasses or purses?
Purse
In a girl or guy…
Funny or Serious?: FUnny
Romantic or Daredevil?: Daredevil
Cute or Hot?:Hot
Dark Eyes or Light Eyes?: Dark Eyes
Long Hair or Short Hair?:Short
Curly Hair or Straight Hair?:Straight
Clean-cut or Rough?:Rough
Good Dancer or Good Singer?:Good Dancer
Basketball Player or Football Player?:BBall
Jock or Rebel?:Rebel
Smoker or Non-smoker?:Non-smoker
Druggie or Clean?:CLean
Has a Motorcycle or Has a Sports Car?:Sport car!
Beard/Mustache or Clean-shaven?:Clean-shaven
Younger or Older?:Older
Player or Loyal?Loyal
30 People Picked From My Mind
The Peepz:
1. Teng
2.Jackie
3.Mary
4.Arra
5.Chen
6.Sablan
7.Ivan
8.Elaine
9.ALaine
10.Pein
11.Sarkis
12.Jaypee
13.Hannah
14.Teret
15.Timmy
16.Rose
17.Jepau
18.Jenafaye
19.Ivana
20.Chris
21.Riel
22.Haru
23.Julius
24.Edz
25.Luigi
26.Vince
27.Cis
28.Stem
29.ALeta
30.Jerby
The Questions:
THE QUESTIONS:
• How did you meet 10?
Through the Audition
• What would you do if you had never met 6?
Well nothing I guess. I wouldn't know he exists
• What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?
Haha happy. They're both tall and smart. They'd be cute together.
• If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
I will go for 6 since the other's a girl
• Did you ever like 9?
Not really but I like him as a friend
• Have you ever seen 4 cry?
I think so, we were so young back then
• Would 4 and 17 make a good couple?
Ahaha yes 17 would be head over heels for 4
• Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?
No I don't think so, they're both girls, but then again I'm not so sure about 1 hahaha!
• Describe 8:
The best baklush ever!
• Do you like 12?
Yes, he's my birthmate :)
• Tell me something about 17:
He's my buddy brother :D
• What’s 7’s favorite color?
White
• What would you do if 1 just confessed they liked you?
Well I already know that. We're twins
• When was the last time you talked to number 15?:
Well that would be last month
• How do you think 19 feels about you?
I bet she feels sad for me, not passing the exam that is
• What language does 13 speak?
Hahaha medical
• Who is 2 going out with?
I don't know him. I've never met him
• What grade is 16 in?
SHe has finished studying already
• What is 5’s favorite music?:
Well generally love songs that's for sure
• Would you ever date 13?:
Of course :) Then we'd be insulting each other. Our way of bonding full of laughter haha
• Is 11 single?:
I believe so cuz if he's not he won't be able to fling with the ladies
• What is 10’s last name?
I don't actually know but it starts with 'M'
• Where does 18 live?:
Northview
• What do you think about 20?:
He's nice
• What is the best thing about 30?
He's a talented person with a passion for music
• What would you like to tell 14 right now?:
I like it when she sends me quotes
• How did you meet 9?
We were colleagues
• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
She's sweet and funny but she doesn't keep in touch anymore
• Are you going to know 3 forever?
Definitely. My lovable sister :)
• How long have you known 26?
Ever since 3rd year so almost 3 years now
• Who is 24?
My cousin
• Are you or did you ever date 2?
Nope, always in a group date, so wait...I think yes then
• Do you have a crush on 27?
Ahahaha nada
• Would you kiss 25?
Ewww! he's my freaking brother!!!
• Have you hugged/kissed 22?
...Freaking No way man
• Would you like to hug/kiss 21?
Shit even more! o.O
• Is 29 your gff?
Ahaha not really close
• What do you hate about 23?
Nothing. He's a gentleman
• What’s your relationship with 28?
We're friends and my first friend in college
50 Ugly Truths About Me
1. When I say "Okay lang" it really doesn't mean it's okay, just so you can be satisfied and keep quiet 2. I really don't like it when they say I'm fat. I'm really trying hard you know! 3. I'm not really NBSB 4. I'm not really a good person. My thoughts can prove it 5. I liked our neighbors and since my parents weren't home I was left with my brother and I told my neighbors we didn't know where our parents were so we wanted to go with them. My parents thought it was funny when I just met them the day before that. 6. Karma scares me, like really really scares me. 7. Girls can turn me on too 8. WHen I was a kid I thought everything that I watched on TV were real-life experiences. 9. If I don't know something they talk about I don't ask, I just act like I know it too and laugh along with them. Prideful 10. I daydream a lot, like 24/7 even when I'm asleep. 11. I love danger. 12. I smile because I always think about things but then I know it's creepy. I mean you see someone who's alone staring at space and smiling, wouldn't that freak you out? 13. WHen I was little I slept overnight at a friend's house and I wet myself and since his sister's small I had to wear his brief. 14. I hate it when we go to the store and a friend asks me magkano to? I don't even work there! 15. I ate ice cream that fell on the ground. 16. I stole stickers from a shop 17. I swear when I tell a story or when there's something wrong, but only when people around me swear too and except if ever a crush is present. 18. I have hirsutism.....ahahaha! 19. I'm allergic to hot, good-looking men. When they get a meter close I have to walk away 20. I tend to like people easily 21. I'm a crybaby. When my mother says I'm stupid I cry secretly but in public, I'm numb 22. I don't really like nursing. I was just too lazy to find an appropriate course for me. 23. I drowned a wounded bird in a pail of water and told my mom I was giving it a bath 24. People say I'm not fat-fat but when I look at the photos, it says the opposite. I wonder who's telling the truth. 25. I thought of becoming a dermatologist but then I think it's better to just think about it. 26. I don't like my butt. It's too....big 27. I love Indian accents haha. Especially when I dial the wrong number. "Did you kick my dog?" 28. I liked Korean looking guys before. But after teaching at a Korean center, I started liking the American type 29. When I was little I woke up in the middle of the night, went to the kitchen, took a frying pan, went back to bed and slept with it beside me 30. I want to have a baby but I don't like having my perineum cut 31. The first thing I look at in a guy is his butt ~_^ 32. The second thing...his shoes. 33. I hate it when I want to buy clothes, my mom always have to be against my taste. I hate it more when she's the one paying 34. Many say that if I were a guy I'd be totally hot. Meaning that I'm a girl I guess I'm not so hot 35. I don't like talking to patients. I rather just be asked to do things than interview them 36. I'm so obvious when I'm in love. 37. I like it when people praise me. I gets stuck in my head for days 38. I'm really really sweet. I spoil people who are very special 39. I'm a sleepy person. I wake up but then after 30 mins I'm sleepy again 40. I don't like people who speak English...and try hard 41. I hated one situation when I said that 10 rows of chairs are for the students and I counted it thrice and explained it to a parent but then he said "Bilangin mo nga ulit" in a way that he was expecting me to be wrong and I counted and I said "10 lang po tlga" 42. I like to kill when I just met someone and at the end of the day he sends me msgs with muah at the end 43. I can't wait to give my love to someone 44. When I buy a book I read the back cover then the ending. 45.I always leave things to be done for tomorrow 46. Jason Statham! Damn I am loving every bit of his body 47.When I like someone I let him know by letting others do the job of embarrassing me intentionally 48. I'm really really really madamot when it comes to food 49. I practice making my voice sound like Pink. I love the hoarse tune 50. Kaliwali. I always say that when I feel I'm going to mess up. And I end up messing up all day
STUPIDITY MESSAGING
Okay so I was really into my studying. I almost forgot about everyone and my Facebook. I was so into my world but at times he popped in my head, well occassionally...okay I think all of the time except when I'm into Saunders. Then my heart skipped a beat but I tried to get back to my reading but couldn't contain myself so I decided to text my friend while studying. I told her that I really was in love with him and I asked how she was doing. Of course I was thinking of him that when I sent the message I unknowingly clicked his number! I didn't realize what I had done until I received a message from him telling me that it was a wrong send and of course he was curious he kept bugging me how this guy is that I am so in love with. I wasn't ready! I had no plans of telling him! But my friend told me to tell him since I've already leaked the hint myself. So I did what she told me. He replied like he didn't know but I knew he was pretending to be surprised. I was really obvious anyway and it made me really sucky -_-. He told me not to be shy and it's not like I'm 'others'. I really didn't want to text much because I was still having skipping heartbeat so I had to say goodnight and I definitely got panda eyes O.O
Just A Name
He started calling me something. It was the best pet name he's given me. It started when my friend and I went to his dorm. My friend kept teasing us so we decided to play along, teaming up against but then the teasing ends up with me being squished by the two of them. We acted like we had a secret relationship though it really didn't mean anything. Then I was surprised because I thought we would only call each other 'that' when it was just the 3 of us. I was walking down the hallway and he calls me 'that'. I was surprised and I could feel my cheeks burning. I was not ready for that. Not really expected it.
But I didn't call him the same thing. I felt awkward and weird. Like mushy all around. I used other names. We have a lot of names for each other. But he sticked to 'that'. I never really got over it and I even the loved the way he uses 'that' to call me.
The results weren't out yet so I still got to have loads of fun. We had a batch party and he was the organizer at this 'Manor'. I was unsure because it was raining hard and I had no idea how to get there. Good thing the rain stopped and my brother was so good he offered to drop me there :) So we partied all night. Of course I got to dance with him, arm around my waist and...shit, I hate being lovey dovey. Well we were just having fun. He had to entertain his guests so we didn't really get to spend time together. Definitely the night's gotta end. It was 4AM and I was still dancing when this guy got a hold of me and turned me around making me face him. Said his name was Kevin. Looking good like Italiano. He wanted me to join him at their table but I said I prefer the dance floor. He asked for my number and I turned him down. Tsk, he really looked good and I loved his accent. I didn't want him to see that but he did see that I guy was talking to me. He calls me 'that' in front of others but with his brothers he calls me 'this'. BUMMER. He even made me entertain his brother. Cool and I had fun with him haha cute even. Then we were about to get home and he asked me if I enjoyed the night and I really did have fun. He said he'd pay me back some other time because he really didn't get to entertain me. But still, I enjoyed more than enough. :D
Forgetting Is A Must
It's been 7 months since I've written about anything that has happened to me. I've been skipping chapters and I don't want to forget them no matter how stupid they played. Today is Oct 25, 2010 and I'm taking a break from my review. Actually I've been having a lot of breaks but hopefully I get to finish the whole book. You see, I failed the Nursing Licensure Exam so I have to retake on Dec 19,20. I have so little time left and don't really feel confident. I want to do better this time. I'm a dreamer and an ambitious one at that. I wonder how it feels like to be in Top 10?
Anyways, I know I've been liking a lot of guys and sometimes I even wonder why cause when I take a second look at them I don't see any reason why. I know "how mean Angel". But no matter who it is that I like, I would always go back to one person. Every time I walk by he never fails to greet me, calling me a lot of names though not insulting. I kind of liked it. He calls me names that describe me and it somehow makes me feel special though I know it's just a joke. He never forgets to say hi or tease me. Some of my friends thinks he's like a Greek God and they are so surprised I know him. It's not like he's a celebrity. Whatever. We stopped texting ever since 2nd half of 2nd year college. Why? Because I hated the fact that we weren't classmates anymore. Because he's F and I'm H. Because I rarely get to see him and makes it hard for me to reach him. I wanted to forget about him because I knew I never had the chance. But I never realized how close we were before. So I stopped texting. I didn't see it coming, the day that I would regret ever doing that I tried to hate him. But at that time, I just really wanted to forget him. I was granted that wish but I have betrayed my heart. Nothing mattered to me and I grew up selfish. But with him, everything mattered, well, hyperbolically speaking. The way I look, the way I laugh, my clothes, my hair and my voice. Oh my God, I'm like Massie from 'The Clique' movie, only I'm not such a bitch, stepping on everyone. I can't believe I've been pretending in front of him. I guess I just didn't want him to be annoyed or disgusted by me. But then again I was not just being selfish but I was also being dishonest.
No wonder I failed the board exam. I was busy, too busy trying to bring back the way we were in the past. Wow, I really need to grow up. We used to text all the time, sending messages and chatting online until dawn. I focused on him when there's nothing really to gain from it. So here I am stuck while the others are steps ahead of me. But I was ready for the results, only I didn't know it was so hard to change old habits.
He was curious, or worried? I think if I passed the exam. I turned my phone off for a day and the next day I told him I was unlucky. He was sad, somehow. I could see from the way he texted but he encouraged me. I was happy and it meant a lot. After that, I became serious...well, somehow. I kept my phone off and started facing unread books. I told others I had left for Oman. I didn't want them to know of my plans. It would just add to the pressure. I wondered if that's what he knew too.
My bestfriend told me that I have to be true because I'll be losing the chance of telling him how I feel. I was sad, almost letting a tear fall. I had no choice I asked him if he really was leaving. He said he's not sure but even so he'd still be back. Still I was sad. So he asked how I was. I told him the truth. He's special just like my bestfriend and I love to keep that connection.
No Cure For Music Addiction
I love music. My father's a musician, my mom can play the guitar and my brother has a great voice like the ones from Boyce Avenue. When I was young I would always go to my dad's gigs along with my mom and brother. I didn't really understand music at that time and I just danced playfully. But then again I was kind of boyish and preferred to play with the guys.
I was grade 1 I think when I first joined the singing contest. I wasn't nervous, I was excited. I forgot what song I sang but I remember it was a Filipino song that was cute and funny that my mom taught me the moves while my dad taught me how to sing it. I won 2nd place. The 1st placer was a tough one to beat and she's been ahead of me for a long time. They call her the Black Stallion. She wasn't only good in singing but in other competitions such as story telling and declamation as well. I stuck to my singing. I only won 1st place once and I forgot what I sang. The Black Stallion had to migrate to US which leaves me a wide opportunity for fame. I lost my passion for singing since I always end up destroying one note as I sing on stage so I tried other contests where I reigned :) But still I wanted to sing. I auditioned once when I was 2nd year but I chickened out because I kept thinking what if I get one note wrong again. That would be embarrassing and teenagers don't take embarrassment well. But I tried one last time when I was in 4th year, didn't go that well but then I was sure I loved singing and I could never part with my videoke.
So what is it that I like about Music. I don't really love the music itself. I love the different voices of the singers. Especially strong steel-like voices. I could never stop myself from listening. Pink is my all-time favorite. I love her gruffy voice when she hits the high notes. It's pure rock and kick ass! It makes my blood hot and running and I always end up slamming in my room. Kelly Clarkson. She's the reason I stashed Pink but only for a while. She has this strong voice that can never be broken and extremely high that I'd have to cut my throat to reach it. The best one was 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'. I sang that during the Battle of the Bands. Damn, it gave us the trophy of the champions! In your face official school band who think they're the only ones with the band talent! That was the best day especially when I saw them sulking their heads. Priceless! Anyway I also love Taylor Swift, her sweet, sultry ( I think) voice relaxes my heart and mind. I love her lyrics and how her song is interpreted. It really speaks to you, meaning her songs can really reach to you. Then there's Katy Perry. I didn't like her at first but when I heard her Thinking Of You wow, I can't stop listening to it because I can really relate to it. Then I heard the 'Firework' song and that's when I really started loving her. Of course there's also Rihana and Kesha and a lot more.
I was riding in my cousin's car and we were on our way to the mall. I saw this guy with headphones and a t-shirt that says 'There is no cure for music addiction'. I tried thinking and what the heck. Who would want to cure music addiction? If love is the spark of life, music is the treatment to life wrecked by love.
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