Okay so I was really into my studying. I almost forgot about everyone and my Facebook. I was so into my world but at times he popped in my head, well occassionally...okay I think all of the time except when I'm into Saunders. Then my heart skipped a beat but I tried to get back to my reading but couldn't contain myself so I decided to text my friend while studying. I told her that I really was in love with him and I asked how she was doing. Of course I was thinking of him that when I sent the message I unknowingly clicked his number! I didn't realize what I had done until I received a message from him telling me that it was a wrong send and of course he was curious he kept bugging me how this guy is that I am so in love with. I wasn't ready! I had no plans of telling him! But my friend told me to tell him since I've already leaked the hint myself. So I did what she told me. He replied like he didn't know but I knew he was pretending to be surprised. I was really obvious anyway and it made me really sucky -_-. He told me not to be shy and it's not like I'm 'others'. I really didn't want to text much because I was still having skipping heartbeat so I had to say goodnight and I definitely got panda eyes O.O
Just A Name
He started calling me something. It was the best pet name he's given me. It started when my friend and I went to his dorm. My friend kept teasing us so we decided to play along, teaming up against but then the teasing ends up with me being squished by the two of them. We acted like we had a secret relationship though it really didn't mean anything. Then I was surprised because I thought we would only call each other 'that' when it was just the 3 of us. I was walking down the hallway and he calls me 'that'. I was surprised and I could feel my cheeks burning. I was not ready for that. Not really expected it.
But I didn't call him the same thing. I felt awkward and weird. Like mushy all around. I used other names. We have a lot of names for each other. But he sticked to 'that'. I never really got over it and I even the loved the way he uses 'that' to call me.
The results weren't out yet so I still got to have loads of fun. We had a batch party and he was the organizer at this 'Manor'. I was unsure because it was raining hard and I had no idea how to get there. Good thing the rain stopped and my brother was so good he offered to drop me there :) So we partied all night. Of course I got to dance with him, arm around my waist and...shit, I hate being lovey dovey. Well we were just having fun. He had to entertain his guests so we didn't really get to spend time together. Definitely the night's gotta end. It was 4AM and I was still dancing when this guy got a hold of me and turned me around making me face him. Said his name was Kevin. Looking good like Italiano. He wanted me to join him at their table but I said I prefer the dance floor. He asked for my number and I turned him down. Tsk, he really looked good and I loved his accent. I didn't want him to see that but he did see that I guy was talking to me. He calls me 'that' in front of others but with his brothers he calls me 'this'. BUMMER. He even made me entertain his brother. Cool and I had fun with him haha cute even. Then we were about to get home and he asked me if I enjoyed the night and I really did have fun. He said he'd pay me back some other time because he really didn't get to entertain me. But still, I enjoyed more than enough. :D
Forgetting Is A Must
It's been 7 months since I've written about anything that has happened to me. I've been skipping chapters and I don't want to forget them no matter how stupid they played. Today is Oct 25, 2010 and I'm taking a break from my review. Actually I've been having a lot of breaks but hopefully I get to finish the whole book. You see, I failed the Nursing Licensure Exam so I have to retake on Dec 19,20. I have so little time left and don't really feel confident. I want to do better this time. I'm a dreamer and an ambitious one at that. I wonder how it feels like to be in Top 10?
Anyways, I know I've been liking a lot of guys and sometimes I even wonder why cause when I take a second look at them I don't see any reason why. I know "how mean Angel". But no matter who it is that I like, I would always go back to one person. Every time I walk by he never fails to greet me, calling me a lot of names though not insulting. I kind of liked it. He calls me names that describe me and it somehow makes me feel special though I know it's just a joke. He never forgets to say hi or tease me. Some of my friends thinks he's like a Greek God and they are so surprised I know him. It's not like he's a celebrity. Whatever. We stopped texting ever since 2nd half of 2nd year college. Why? Because I hated the fact that we weren't classmates anymore. Because he's F and I'm H. Because I rarely get to see him and makes it hard for me to reach him. I wanted to forget about him because I knew I never had the chance. But I never realized how close we were before. So I stopped texting. I didn't see it coming, the day that I would regret ever doing that I tried to hate him. But at that time, I just really wanted to forget him. I was granted that wish but I have betrayed my heart. Nothing mattered to me and I grew up selfish. But with him, everything mattered, well, hyperbolically speaking. The way I look, the way I laugh, my clothes, my hair and my voice. Oh my God, I'm like Massie from 'The Clique' movie, only I'm not such a bitch, stepping on everyone. I can't believe I've been pretending in front of him. I guess I just didn't want him to be annoyed or disgusted by me. But then again I was not just being selfish but I was also being dishonest.
No wonder I failed the board exam. I was busy, too busy trying to bring back the way we were in the past. Wow, I really need to grow up. We used to text all the time, sending messages and chatting online until dawn. I focused on him when there's nothing really to gain from it. So here I am stuck while the others are steps ahead of me. But I was ready for the results, only I didn't know it was so hard to change old habits.
He was curious, or worried? I think if I passed the exam. I turned my phone off for a day and the next day I told him I was unlucky. He was sad, somehow. I could see from the way he texted but he encouraged me. I was happy and it meant a lot. After that, I became serious...well, somehow. I kept my phone off and started facing unread books. I told others I had left for Oman. I didn't want them to know of my plans. It would just add to the pressure. I wondered if that's what he knew too.
My bestfriend told me that I have to be true because I'll be losing the chance of telling him how I feel. I was sad, almost letting a tear fall. I had no choice I asked him if he really was leaving. He said he's not sure but even so he'd still be back. Still I was sad. So he asked how I was. I told him the truth. He's special just like my bestfriend and I love to keep that connection.
No Cure For Music Addiction
I love music. My father's a musician, my mom can play the guitar and my brother has a great voice like the ones from Boyce Avenue. When I was young I would always go to my dad's gigs along with my mom and brother. I didn't really understand music at that time and I just danced playfully. But then again I was kind of boyish and preferred to play with the guys.
I was grade 1 I think when I first joined the singing contest. I wasn't nervous, I was excited. I forgot what song I sang but I remember it was a Filipino song that was cute and funny that my mom taught me the moves while my dad taught me how to sing it. I won 2nd place. The 1st placer was a tough one to beat and she's been ahead of me for a long time. They call her the Black Stallion. She wasn't only good in singing but in other competitions such as story telling and declamation as well. I stuck to my singing. I only won 1st place once and I forgot what I sang. The Black Stallion had to migrate to US which leaves me a wide opportunity for fame. I lost my passion for singing since I always end up destroying one note as I sing on stage so I tried other contests where I reigned :) But still I wanted to sing. I auditioned once when I was 2nd year but I chickened out because I kept thinking what if I get one note wrong again. That would be embarrassing and teenagers don't take embarrassment well. But I tried one last time when I was in 4th year, didn't go that well but then I was sure I loved singing and I could never part with my videoke.
So what is it that I like about Music. I don't really love the music itself. I love the different voices of the singers. Especially strong steel-like voices. I could never stop myself from listening. Pink is my all-time favorite. I love her gruffy voice when she hits the high notes. It's pure rock and kick ass! It makes my blood hot and running and I always end up slamming in my room. Kelly Clarkson. She's the reason I stashed Pink but only for a while. She has this strong voice that can never be broken and extremely high that I'd have to cut my throat to reach it. The best one was 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'. I sang that during the Battle of the Bands. Damn, it gave us the trophy of the champions! In your face official school band who think they're the only ones with the band talent! That was the best day especially when I saw them sulking their heads. Priceless! Anyway I also love Taylor Swift, her sweet, sultry ( I think) voice relaxes my heart and mind. I love her lyrics and how her song is interpreted. It really speaks to you, meaning her songs can really reach to you. Then there's Katy Perry. I didn't like her at first but when I heard her Thinking Of You wow, I can't stop listening to it because I can really relate to it. Then I heard the 'Firework' song and that's when I really started loving her. Of course there's also Rihana and Kesha and a lot more.
I was riding in my cousin's car and we were on our way to the mall. I saw this guy with headphones and a t-shirt that says 'There is no cure for music addiction'. I tried thinking and what the heck. Who would want to cure music addiction? If love is the spark of life, music is the treatment to life wrecked by love.
Ovum + Sperm = ME
I wake up at indefinite times but usually mornings and usually I have eggs and fried rice
waiting for me but ever since I returned to my home country I end up cooking them myself. I start
my day eating and staring into space then when somebody turns on the TV I stare at it instead of
space. Usually I hate eating before going to school, it makes me really sleepy. Sleepy like I just woke
up and I want to close my eyes again. I'm a sleepy person, I can fall asleep absolutely anywhere
as long as there isn't dead feet I'm smelling.
My mom's Rhea the Titan and my dad is Kronos. Yeah I saved a lot of kids from being their
parents. My dad loves spoiling me and my mom sure does love nagging me. But I love them both!
I used to spend my vacation going to the deserts and loving every bit of technology they have there.
Of course I rode the camel once and I say, better than horses. I love the desert. It's quiet and
peaceful and of course I'm sure it is because that's where most of the 'terror' are. It's where they
live so as long as you stitch your mouth shut and smile innocently, you're a veggie in feast, left
unnoticed. I also have a brother who is like Paul Blart from Mall Cop but not so really.
It's already 12:02 AM and I'm supposed to be sleeping right now because I have to wake up
early tomorrow to turn off my alarm and go back to sleep and wake up again to cook breakfast,
watch a little of NCIS and hesitantly go to my room and meet up with Saunders. Believe me it's
lovely the thought of being a nurse, saving lives and everything but the process of being one! It
pisses me off. I lack the passion and have no inspiration and it's keeping me from getting my
license! I just failed July and I'm taking again this December and I swear if I don't get it again for
Christmas...well there's still another July. I'm hoping and PRAYING it doesn't come to that....
seriously. SO yeah, I'm stuck right now with Saunders and I'm planting every bit of information
in my head. I'm done with pregnant mothers and crying babies and now I'm left with a pissed off
body because it's not functioning well especially cancer which took me almost a week to finish.
You may be wondering why I'm in front of the computer when I could have spent this time
tiring myself out from reviewing rather than typing here. Yeah I thought about that too but, well
I really am stubborn am I not?
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